The 4 Steps That Will Free You From Addiction

Belinda Tobin

8 min readFeb 23, 2021

There is a 4-step process to fully heal from addiction. It is the journey from:

1. Body — healing the body and brain to restore energy

2. Mind — gaining awareness and clarity of thought to challenge limiting beliefs

3. Emotions — building the courage to work with distressing emotions

4. Spirit — living true to yourself and honouring your unique contribution in this world.

When I first began my ‘recovery’ process I was confused and overwhelmed. It felt like I had so many people offering help, but they were all coming from different angles. You have the psychiatrists concerned largely with medication. You have the psychologists and counsellors there to help work through troublesome thoughts and emotions. You may have a host of doctors and other specialists looking at specific aspects of your physical condition. If you are lucky, these people will speak with each other and coordinate their approach. But even though I knew they were all there to help me in some way, I never could see how it all fitted together. I could not see the big picture of how I could rebuild my life — until now.

The Addiction Healing Pathway

I have spent the last few years researching the fundamental cause of addiction and modern treatment approaches. I have thoroughly investigated the wisdom residing in ancient cultures, as well as the revelations from modern neuroscience. I have looked at the relationships, the causes and effects between each of these contributions, and from this study I have developed The Addiction Healing Pathway. It shows the process of healing as a simple 4-step pathway.

The Addiction Healing Pathway

The Addiction Healing Pathway is a true gift for those lost in the mire of recovery. It shows that there is a:

· clear place to begin the addiction healing journey

· logical progression of steps to work through to become free from addiction

· clear outcome you are working towards — the end game.

The Cause and Effect Relationships in Addiction

The Addiction Healing Pathway is built upon one fundamental premise — that the underlying cause of addiction is the loss of connection with the true self, the spirit, and the loss of self-love and care that results. You can read more about the disconnect with the spirit as the cause of addiction here. The cause and effect relationship of addiction is shown on the following diagram.

The Cause and Effects of Addiction

Addiction is Driven Bottom-Up

“ It is the always soul that dies first. Even if its departure goes unnoticed, and it always carries the body along with it.

Humans are nourished by the invisible. We are nourished by that which is beyond the personal. We die by preferring its opposite.” ~ Lucien Jacque (French poet)

As we hear from Lucien Jacque, it is the soul (or spirit) that dies first. Without a strong sense of purpose and meaning in this world we suffer. We may not notice the suffering initially, but inevitably it shows up in our emotions, our thoughts, and eventually the implications become evident in the body. The work of Dr David Richardson and the Centre for Healthy Minds supports this. It is the loss of connection to spirit, the loss of meaning and purpose in this life that impacts on the very heart of our sense of wellness, and as I see it, begins the descent into addiction. You lose touch with your passion and your love for life. If you do seek to live by your unique spirit, then the tribe is very good at making you feel ‘faulty’ and pressure you to conform. So either path creates a whole range of troublesome emotions, including fear, anger, pride, shame, apathy and desire.

These feelings act as a huge negative force and threat upon a person. Science shows us that these kinds of emotions shut down the executive part of the brain that helps with decision making. Instead, it puts us in a constant state of stress, prepared either to fight to defend ourselves or to run away. This stress, this conflict, this suffering is the undesirable situation that initiates the use of the substance or the activity.

Even though we may know what we are doing is harmful, or is becoming unhelpful, the call to relieve the suffering continues. So our thought patterns and beliefs become altered to support continuing the behaviour. “I can’t cope”, “I deserve this”, “what’s the use?”, “I’m worthless” are all thoughts and beliefs that keep the person in the pattern of consumption. And finally, through continued behaviour, the addiction becomes well and truly ingrained in the brain. It has become part of the brain’s wiring, and removing the substance or behaviour will create pain. As a result, the physical body is also damaged. Organs and muscles are destroyed, the body becomes toxic and malnourished, and additional chemical imbalances may have been created in the brain causing more psychological problems.

The disconnection with the spirit, your true self began this heart-breaking war. The carnage shows across your emotions, thoughts and in your body and brain. But as the diagram shows, the destruction spreads out beyond yourself. It impacts all of those in your environment, and unfortunately, the closest relationships receive the greatest damage.

Addiction is Treated Top-Down

This model recognises that the damage done at the physical, mental and emotional levels needs to be addressed before the deep work of reconnection with your unique spirit can be undertaken. Let’s start with the physical body and brain. Your body has likely become malnourished. There may have been chemical imbalances created that impair your ability to think clearly and deal with the withdrawal symptoms as they arise. Healing from addiction requires energy, so the body and brain are treated first to provide this energy and correct other physical illnesses and imbalances that have resulted.

It must also be recognised the body itself holds a great wisdom. We can use the sensations that arise within it to understand what is going on for us at the other pathway levels. Starting at the surface, the physical and somatic, we can begin to become aware of the subtle, the unlimited and the spiritual. This approach is very much in line with the gross and subtle consciousnesses discussed in many Eastern philosophies.

It is at this physical level, the body and brain, where medication may play a role. I know there is a lot of controversy around the investment that pharmaceutical companies have in addiction. But if you have found the right help, then medication can play a pivotal role in helping your get your head together, to begin to think clearly for the road ahead. With a clear mind, you can become more aware of what you are doing and gain insight into how your thoughts and beliefs drive your behaviour. You can gain some distance from your thoughts and, as Victor Frankl points out, begin to see that:

“Between the stimulus and the response is a space, and in that space is your power and your freedom.”

With awareness and insight, you begin to bring back your ability to choose, which is your greatest power. However, we are far from rational beings. As Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) models show, it is our emotions that drive our behaviour. Without learning how to deal with the distressing emotions of fear, shame, guilt and anger, we will never gain the courage to move forward on our spiritual journey. When we care for our emotions and learn the messages they send, we can build confidence through action and honour our true selves. Even more, we can begin to love ourselves and show ourselves the kindness and compassion that is our essence. We can begin to shine, experience a clear sense of purpose, and feel real joy.

Simple Does Not Mean Easy!

I suspect when you first see this model, you may be very disappointed. Were you hoping for something more complicated, more academic or more technical? Well, my response is not to mistake simple for easy. Like a map is not a true reflection of the territory, this pathway is merely a guide. There are only four steps on the pathway, yet each is an intense investigation, appreciation, and healing process. It is a two-dimensional model of a very challenging journey, but without this guide, we may feel lost altogether.

I do suspect though I will receive a lot of criticism for how basic this model is. I am sure some people will find it insulting to the wealth of work they have put into understanding and treating addiction. Some may even suggest that I am naïve and ignorant. Perhaps all of these things are true. But here is an alternative thought from Jeremy Griffiths the evolutionary biologist:

“When the depressed state becomes the norm, then anything not depressing begins to appear naive or unsophisticated”.[1]

And another by the father of modern psychology, Carl Jung:
“In actual life, it requires the greatest art to be simple.”

Perhaps we are too tied up in our science, diagnostics, and deconstruction of thoughts and feelings. Maybe we are too preoccupied with looking to external sources, triangulation of scientific research and new technologies for answers, when the answer was simple and within us all along. The elders and our ancestors know it, and maybe it is time to begin listening to the old wisdom and giving it as much regard as we do to our new science.

Does This Model Help?

I have not developed this model to satisfy scientists or specialists. It is there to help those addicted, their friends, and their families understand what is happening to them, and that there is a pathway to heal.

Reflecting on my time in rehab, if I had this model in front of me, would it have made the journey any easier? Probably not. But would I have had a clear view of my destination and the pathway to get there? Yes. This model would have given me something to hang up on the wall, track and trace my progress, and understand the work done at any particular time. It would have allowed me to see the connections between all the different activities. I might have given in to the process sooner if I knew the end-game. If I could see how the people around me were working together to reconnect me with my spirit, to help me be my true self, then perhaps I would have been more trusting of them in the first place.