The Dark Side of Being a Material Girl

What Is Materialism?

Materialism is

  • A set of beliefs, behaviours and practices. Materialists believe that the right phone, shirt or car or skincare product will make them happy and show success. So they watch people who appear successful and happy, find out what phone, shirt, care or skincare they use, and then set about replicating these possessions in their own life.
  • An externally driven dogma. These beliefs and behaviours are founded on the prime concerns of appearance, image and what others think of you. They are based on the tangible world of being seen to have and do the right things. A person’s sense of worth is established through objects and possessions, being merely the superficial layer of their full existence.

Materialism Hurts

Don’t get me wrong; if anyone wanted to give me a trinket from Tiffany & Co or a pair of Chanel boots, I would quite happily take them! I like beautiful things just as much as the next YouTube Influencer. Appreciating and celebrating magnificence is life-affirming, whatever the object may be. The danger comes when appearance and possessions turn inwards and become to define your sense of identity and worth.

Materialism Impacts On Your Sexuality

So, what the hell has all of this mayhem around materialism got to do with sex? Well, there is an inextricable connection between our spirituality and our sexuality. Our fundamental beliefs inform our thoughts around gender, attraction and pleasure. Our views about our life purpose and importance also impinge upon our motivations and goals for intimate relationships. This connection also works the other way, as so beautifully put by Alice Walker.

Community and Humanity Lose Out

When your sense of purpose is rooted in having stuff, you will never be content. There will always be something more to have. In this way, when you are a materialist, your life is driven by the dictates and dogma of what other things you should have or should be. You lose your sense of autonomy and an individual sense of purpose. You lose your ability to understand and share your unique gifts with the world. You lose, your community loses, and the whole of humanity loses.

Why Is This So?

Why do we allow this to happen? Why have we let materialism become the norm? We have seen how destructive it is. So why are we letting our children follow this painful path and damage their minds, hearts and relationships? I believe there is one core reason.



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Belinda Tobin

Belinda Tobin


Author. Series Executive Producer of the Future Sex Love Art Projekt. Founder of The 3rd-Edge and The Addiction Healing Pathway.